An inquiry into something subtle is a journey through the dark recesses of the mind. Why one undertakes such a journey? In a journey of thoughts and journey within thoughts one is helpless to talk of a choice. A choice of beginning and continuing with the voyage or simply to be held and sit back! It is a state of progress, which only moves forward.
But this progress mostly advances into two twin states with diverse consequences. Most of the thinkers regress in a cyclical path. They become victims of circularity. Here identical thoughts keep on repeating themselves causing much distress to the thinker. They keep on explaining the well explained themes. They go on proving what is already proved.
But a thinker with a truly meditative poise continues with the journey. But he will be blessed to continue only if he does not harbor any preconceived notion. Only if one leaves guiding crutches one expects to gain an unexpected insight.
Contemplation of such kind occurs in a heightened state of awareness. This is an awareness where one is calm and active both and yet never tense or hurried. This is state of the mind of somebody facing a severe competition of challenge of death. Imagine you are engaged in a combat of sword fight. As you face your opponent you are increasingly watchful. Were you to relax your vigilance even for a fraction of second you would be cut down to pieces.
With ease this analogy can be related with the inner battle of thoughts. In this inner conflict you nevertheless are in a frame of warrior but here war is among the thoughts. Here the opponent is the counter thought or thought that dissociates from the original thought. By doing so the newly emerged thought tends to kill or overpower the former. You become the battle ground of thoughts, a dark arena of ignorance. Never knowing which thought should be given precedence and which one to leave behind. Means which thought should be selected for linear voyage and which one to be thrown away from the deck.
The decision comes from you. The battleground of thoughts is you. Your awareness is the boat which boards the mob of warrior thoughts. Your awareness is the battleground which you will have to keep separate and detached. Most of the thinkers join with battle. They join with the thoughts; one or the opposite thought. The wakeful distress of being the battleground of thoughts is now replaced by delight or sorrow of the thoughts. This sort of pleasure or distress does not open new vistas. It comes and goes on cyclically with the thoughts.
But the concentrated awareness is the only light you have on this unlit murky path. This could be the source of distress for the thinker, for to remain in the sustained state of awareness you have to put effort to it.
If you are not pursuing the aesthetic aspect of your journey; if you are not after literary joy of your novel thoughts then you can open up an incorporeal landscape ahead and put yourselves on a linear spiritual journey. A sort of journey which each of us seriously chooses to undertake but often holds himself back before taking the final plunge.
But we would have to take the risk of entering into the perils of unknown. This final decision is not the produce of your logical mind. Neither this is the act of will nor that of wisdom. It is the moment where all rationality of the intellect is to be kept away. It is the end of everything known. Entry into the unknown field comes instantaneously. It is the end, end of both acceptance and denial.
While we talk about this transition from the rational worldly mold to the higher thoughtless mold one needs not to stick to the elaborations read in the past from thoughtful elaborators. Perhaps nobody is able to delve on much on this point. Any description of it will come out from rational mind, from thoughts and from memory. These things exist in the framework of time. So why should one articulate the things which are timeless? How can end of thoughts be described with the activity of thoughts?
In this ending there is beginning of a journey too subtle to be described? If ever this happens one may not even hesitate to call it the next genesis [birth]. This is contact with the ultimate reality is only to be perceived; only to be experienced. This is not to be conceptualized or described within the framework of worldly knowledge. You cannot taste sweet by uttering and understanding the word ‘sweet’. Neither can you describe sweetness in a way that others can experience similar sweetness. For the correct perception you will have to eat something sweet.
This is what our real existence is. Ever free and liberated! Liberated from tension of descriptions, liberated from the world of languages.
This ever free existence acts from an all empty consciousness and free from one which is heavily laden with old, stale, cooked and crooked knowledge. Forever free from poking ego which presses consciousness with the restricted choices.
This is eclosion (release from shell). This is the birth of a flower from the fused carpel. This is the birth of a winged butterfly from lethargic pupa. This is the birth from restrictions of the egg shell that has fused wings (of the bird) to his lean chest.
In this existence one never stops living and interacting with the world and also not unresponsive to the painful consequences of such existence but one is free. One is free to choose and free to accept the tension and responsibility of his choices.